How to host a singles mixer people actually enjoy

A singles mixer asks strangers to do something hard: walk up to someone they find attractive, with an audience. Your job is to make that easier, and to give people a reason to feel it wasn’t a wasted evening.

Choose a venue that helps

Look for a room you can move through. High tables and standing space beat booths, where people get stuck. Moderate lighting and music you can talk over make a real difference. Hire a section of a venue rather than sharing it with the public if you can, so everyone knows why everyone else is there.

Decide who it’s for

“Singles in their 30s who like live music” sells better than “singles”. A narrower promise brings people who share something, which gives them something to talk about, and it’s easier to promote. Set an age range if your crowd wants one, and be clear about it up front. Be clear about who’s welcome, too, so that LGBTQ+ guests know whether this night is for them.

The first twenty minutes decide it

  • Have someone at the door. A person who says hello and hands over a drink token gets a nervous arrival through the hardest moment.
  • Make arriving alone normal. Say so in the invitation. Most people will have come alone, or wish they had.
  • Start something at a set time. A mixer with no structure turns into small groups of friends by the second drink. Plan one thing to happen twenty or thirty minutes in.

Give people an easy way to talk

Good prompts beat icebreaker games. Name tags with a question on them (“Ask me about my last trip”) work well, and so do small shared tasks like a group quiz. Be careful with anything that sorts people by looks or puts someone on the spot.

Make it comfortable

  • Tell guests who to come to if someone makes them uncomfortable, and mean it.
  • Brief your staff on the same thing, and on keeping an eye on anyone who’s being followed around.
  • Don’t collect or hand over contact details without clear permission.
  • Encourage people to meet in public and to leave on their own terms.

Where Flare fits

Flare handles the hardest part. Guests answer a few questions when they arrive, and when Flare finds someone who fits both ways, their phones light up in the same color. Nobody has to choose who to walk up to, and nobody gets turned down in public: clearing a match ends both lights with no reason given.

There are no photos or profiles, and nobody can find anyone after the event through Flare. Whatever happens next is up to them.

Keep reading

Run a speed dating eventVenue, numbers, timing, scorecards, and a format without the bell.What to say to the roomWord-for-word scripts you can read out or print.Run a singles night at your barFilling a slow night, from promotion to last call.